Praying for rain

Each day I pray for rain....on one hand, it makes the air feel cool through the fans that we constantly have pointing at us, and on the other hand, it keeps men out of the bars.

On Thursday when we went into the pool bars as usual, we left one bar to go to another, with a stop at 7-11 for some snacks to enjoy with the girls. While inside, we noticed that within moments the sky grew rather dark and the streets began to empty. People ran inside the 7-11 as the wind was reaching great strengths. As we ventured outside, we noticed plants that were knocked over and people finding their way inside...some intense rain was coming our way. We made it to the next bar, found our girls, and sat down with them....it began to pour!

Since this particular bar is all open in the front, they had to bring down these garage-like doors to keep the rain out. We continued on with our girls talking, painting nails, and most of all, enjoying the peace. There were a couple men in there playing pool, but other than that, no others would come in at that time. The girls inside were completely undistracted. It felt like a breath of fresh air. No one would approach them (even though some of these girls just make funny faces at us when the men do say things to them). Regardless of who does or does not entertain them, we could just enjoy uninterrupted time with them.

After some time passed and the heavy rain was turning into a light rain, the doors were opened, and it just so happened to be time for us to return to Beginnings for dinner. Two men who had been at the restaurant across the way finally ran over and some of the girls cheered...it was back...reality.

Every time I leave those bars I feel the most conflicting emotions. I know that they know we love them...we tell them and I pray that we are showing them...they know that purpose...we are trying to show them in whatever way we can. How can we not extend His love? They are precious, they are our friends. I leave with joy from these friendships and from being given the blessing of being able to show love.

However, I also feel a sense of defeat because they are still there...working in the bars, facing each night as unknown. Will they be burdened tonight or will they get to go home to rest?

My heart is uplifted and broken at the same time.

His promises then sweetly overwhelm me.

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." (Prov. 3:5-6)

That night I wrote, "Lord, I trust you with my whole heart! I am not dependent on my own understanding, but Yours! I acknowledge You in every way, but when I fall short, help me! Please direct my paths! Lord, lead me. This mission is Yours. These girls are Yours! I am wholly Yours so use me! Let me not be discouraged...I am a messenger...You are the one who causes these seeds we plant to grow. Let us do as You desire, it is all Yours...they are Yours. My Majesty, my King, overwhelm them with You! Please."

Please pray. Though Lyndsey and I only have a few more days here, Megan has months to come. And these girls may have years to come of this....pray that they find the WAY! Pray that these seeds would grow. Pray that we are used by the Lord. Pray that their hearts are receptive. Pray that God uses you as well in your own mission field that is your daily life.

Sir Somchai

For those of you wondering what happened to little Sir in December, I gave him to this family that owns a wonderful nail salon that Ann goes to. They are a loving group of people that already owned a poodle, and they just fell in love with Sir and I was more than happy that they wanted to add him to the family. The first thing they did, was add the Thai word "somchai" to his name, which means, "You the man."

This family is a bit wealthier than the average Thai because they get so much business at the nail salon and have been able to pay for all of Sir Somchai's medical bills. He was so very sick and they said that he was close to death many times, but pushed through.

He has had quite the little life thus far, but is doing so well now. He is healthy, strong, and happy! Here are some pictures :)

Back in Bangkok

Ann, the house mom at Beginnings, has continued to greet us with, "Welcome Home!" and it sounds so sweet to my ears. This house is a place of comfort and love, these girls are my sisters, and the streets are our 'backyard' mission field. On a ride to the market with Ann, Lyndsey, and Jit (a Beginnings resident) we were conversing about this being another home for us. Ann, Lyndsey, and I had tears welling up in our eyes as we talked about how good it was to see each other again and how much we missed each other and how we truly are family. There is rest in one another and a bonding that will never fade. This has become a home to us and we are gladly overwhelmed by such a gift.

I love this home, I love the girls that are safe and happy at Beginnings and I yearn for those who are still in the industry and do not know God. Yesterday, we went into the pool bars to visit with our friends. The first girl I spoke to on my very first trip here one year ago is still working at the same pool bar and she has become such a dear friend. We were playing pool and joking around and she stopped to show me some pictures of her family, to show how much her children had grown. She pulled out her phone and showed me some and then we continued on with our game and she told me to press the side button to keep looking...so I did. Many pictures of her beautiful face and pictures of her with friends I knew at the pool bar as well as pictures of her children and nieces and nephews made me smile, but some unfamiliar faces showed up, and I asked about them. Some were other relatives that I had never seen, and some were pictures of men...
Of these men, she would say, "that is customer" or "that is friend" and my heart broke. Flashbacks of the first conversation that Lyndsey and I ever had with her flooded my mind -- "Friend" is a word containing different meanings for her; regarding these men, it meant the customers who were actually kind to her- who took her out for dinner, or bought her clothing, or took her dancing prior to the implied.. The customers are the ones who were unkind to her, the ones who did not treat her as a friend; or they were those who came into the bar and just played pool with her.
When she would point out who these different men were to her with a smile or a straight face, each realization caused me to feel a shortness of breath...this is my friend...this is God's precious creation...why does this have to be her life?
I do not think that the things that I see here or the countless conversations about my friend's work or their sweet faces will ever stop being an overwhelming experience. Whether it continues to be a harsh realization of what goes on here or whether it be a broken heart for these kind women, I am constantly stunned and taken aback by the reality of this darkness.

I am so glad that I have my Maker to rely on because I cannot do this on my own. I cannot carry on a conversation with dried eyes by my own strength. I cannot look through pictures on a phone without falling apart if it were not for His peace residing within me. I cannot see my friends leave the bars with customers and have restraint if it weren't for His steadfast love and assurance.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

He is Lord of all. His Will will be done. My trust and hope rest secure in His hands. He produces change. He heals what the world deems broken, He restores what they declare diminished, and He bestows worth to what they claim is worthless.

Please pray that this Truth is captivating to these women, pray that we may show them Christ, and pray for freedom.